Thursday, June 9, 2011

My Right to Complain


I currently have the Mount Kilaminjaro of cold soars exploding from my face. I seriously didn't think my poor lip could expand to this capacity. The rest of my mouth seriously can't keep up with this extent of swelling, so I'm pretty sure I'm going to develop like nineteen more cold soars because the skin can't stretch any further and its going to break and turn into another pus filled crusty bowl of crap that makes me not want to show my face in public. And because of this disgusting facial feature I feel like I have the right to complain....

-We go to the store to buy the freakin twenty dollar Abreva for this stupid cold soar and Lins is out! So we drive to Walgreens and they are closed! I thought Walgreens was the 24 hr pharmacy? Apparantly not! So we wound up at Albertsons, my least favorite store because I always see people from high school, which is exactly what I don't want when I have a diseased face and I'm buying drugs!
-The pills to heal this cold soar are even bigger than my cold soar, it's a miracle they fit in my mouth. I have anxiety every time i try to swollow them, if that didn't go down, my airway would certainly be blocked, restricting my breathing and decreasing oxygen to my brain so not only will I have a cold soar, I will also have brain damage.
-There isn't a back door to the Library on campus, so I have to walk my ugly face all the way around the building to get in and then go all the way through to the study tables at the back of the freakin libraray! And of course I get ambushed with a "hey you in the dress" by some other creeper who apparantly remembers me from biology and wants to hang out with me, even though I was still taller than him and I was two steps down and I have a mountain growing out of my lip. I did not have very good luck with the other creepers from my biology class. I feel like that is a really bad idea!
-My air conditioner is stuck on feet, which means that my face gets 900 degrees in the middle of the day and i am sweating and red and my bangs are stuck to my head every time I get out of the car, but I can't walk because my feet are numb and my poor little bad circulation toes are completely frozen!

When this disease falls of my face i will balance my pessimism with an incredibly upbeat blog about how much I love summer....dont worry!

5 comments:

  1. I had a problem like that last fall as school was just getting going, only it was my nose! It was horrible and since I am the secretary, there was no hiding at a table in the back. In fact, one student came into the office specifically to call me 'Rudolf.' I finally gave up and went to the Dr. and he prescribed an antibiotic cream because I had something that I am sure starts with an 'e' but right now, I can't remember what it was. All I can say is I hope your's goes away VERY soon and that your car air conditioner magically repairs itself.

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  2. Should we have Josh take a look at your a/c? I am sorry about the cold sore! It isn't really that big though really. Love you and you can complain anytime you need to! Loves ya!

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  3. Way to release your stress. Psychologists say you should write or say what is bothering you and it will help you heal faster. Good job!! We are happy for summer to FINALLY be here. I am looking forward to your summer blog. Sorry about the cold sore. (I hate cold sores)

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  4. You are soo funny! I feel like I'm reading a really good article in an awesome magazine. But when I think of you as my lil' person, I feel bad about the Mt. Kil thing!! I'm sorry I laugh at your pain! I think I have a follow up post coming in reference to your post. I have zits all the time. As a defense mechanism, I have chosen to ignore them. I drink water, wash face, buy expensive cover-up but ultimately, I just like don't see them. UNTIL a photograph, then I want to curl up in a little hole and die.

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  5. Haha Jess! I am sorry but really I need you to post something everyday you are hilarious!

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