Dirty Laundry

For some reason summer means that I go over two weeks without doing my laundry. I just let it pile up and pile up, which is nice because by the time half of my wardrobe is in my hamper I finally have enough hangers for all my clothes, but is not so nice on days like today. My only inspiration to do laundry is when i run out of clean panties. Usually I can time it pretty well and I don't actually run out. Today was a close call. The only pair I had left were those cheeky kind, you know the ones that are straight in the back so your bummy kind of hangs out the bottom. I would never intentionally buy this type of undergarment. My butt is way too big to need to hang out the bottom of my panties on purpose, but my best friend gave them to me for christmas in high school and obviously they haven't gotten a ton of action so I kept them longer than the average pair of underwear. So i wear my cheeky panties to school and the instant I get out of my car I have the biggest weggie in the entire world. Like i was worried my panties were going to come out the top of my pants it was so bad. And I'm walking around campus and all I can think is.... I've got a weggie, I've got a weggie, I've got a weggie hey hey hey hey ( you know, alph alpha style). Which means I am walking around by myself laughing at the thoughts in my head and people are looking at me funny, and I don't know if it's because they can tell I have a weggie or if they just think I am a crazy schizophrenic that laughs at nothing while they aimlessly roam around. Either way it makes for an uncomfortable day. Next time I am really going to try and do my laundry before i run out of panties. But lets be honest, weggie undies are better than no undies at all!

My Right to Complain

I currently have the Mount Kilaminjaro of cold soars exploding from my face. I seriously didn't think my poor lip could expand to this capacity. The rest of my mouth seriously can't keep up with this extent of swelling, so I'm pretty sure I'm going to develop like nineteen more cold soars because the skin can't stretch any further and its going to break and turn into another pus filled crusty bowl of crap that makes me not want to show my face in public. And because of this disgusting facial feature I feel like I have the right to complain....

-We go to the store to buy the freakin twenty dollar Abreva for this stupid cold soar and Lins is out! So we drive to Walgreens and they are closed! I thought Walgreens was the 24 hr pharmacy? Apparantly not! So we wound up at Albertsons, my least favorite store because I always see people from high school, which is exactly what I don't want when I have a diseased face and I'm buying drugs!

-The pills to heal this cold soar are even bigger than my cold soar, it's a miracle they fit in my mouth. I have anxiety every time i try to swollow them, if that didn't go down, my airway would certainly be blocked, restricting my breathing and decreasing oxygen to my brain so not only will I have a cold soar, I will also have brain damage.

-There isn't a back door to the Library on campus, so I have to walk my ugly face all the way around the building to get in and then go all the way through to the study tables at the back of the freakin libraray! And of course I get ambushed with a "hey you in the dress" by some other creeper who apparantly remembers me from biology and wants to hang out with me, even though I was still taller than him and I was two steps down and I have a mountain growing out of my lip. I did not have very good luck with the other creepers from my biology class. I feel like that is a really bad idea!

-My air conditioner is stuck on feet, which means that my face gets 900 degrees in the middle of the day and i am sweating and red and my bangs are stuck to my head every time I get out of the car, but I can't walk because my feet are numb and my poor little bad circulation toes are completely frozen!

When this disease falls of my face i will balance my pessimism with an incredibly upbeat blog about how much I love summer....dont worry!