Dirty Laundry

For some reason summer means that I go over two weeks without doing my laundry. I just let it pile up and pile up, which is nice because by the time half of my wardrobe is in my hamper I finally have enough hangers for all my clothes, but is not so nice on days like today. My only inspiration to do laundry is when i run out of clean panties. Usually I can time it pretty well and I don't actually run out. Today was a close call. The only pair I had left were those cheeky kind, you know the ones that are straight in the back so your bummy kind of hangs out the bottom. I would never intentionally buy this type of undergarment. My butt is way too big to need to hang out the bottom of my panties on purpose, but my best friend gave them to me for christmas in high school and obviously they haven't gotten a ton of action so I kept them longer than the average pair of underwear. So i wear my cheeky panties to school and the instant I get out of my car I have the biggest weggie in the entire world. Like i was worried my panties were going to come out the top of my pants it was so bad. And I'm walking around campus and all I can think is.... I've got a weggie, I've got a weggie, I've got a weggie hey hey hey hey ( you know, alph alpha style). Which means I am walking around by myself laughing at the thoughts in my head and people are looking at me funny, and I don't know if it's because they can tell I have a weggie or if they just think I am a crazy schizophrenic that laughs at nothing while they aimlessly roam around. Either way it makes for an uncomfortable day. Next time I am really going to try and do my laundry before i run out of panties. But lets be honest, weggie undies are better than no undies at all!

My Right to Complain

I currently have the Mount Kilaminjaro of cold soars exploding from my face. I seriously didn't think my poor lip could expand to this capacity. The rest of my mouth seriously can't keep up with this extent of swelling, so I'm pretty sure I'm going to develop like nineteen more cold soars because the skin can't stretch any further and its going to break and turn into another pus filled crusty bowl of crap that makes me not want to show my face in public. And because of this disgusting facial feature I feel like I have the right to complain....

-We go to the store to buy the freakin twenty dollar Abreva for this stupid cold soar and Lins is out! So we drive to Walgreens and they are closed! I thought Walgreens was the 24 hr pharmacy? Apparantly not! So we wound up at Albertsons, my least favorite store because I always see people from high school, which is exactly what I don't want when I have a diseased face and I'm buying drugs!

-The pills to heal this cold soar are even bigger than my cold soar, it's a miracle they fit in my mouth. I have anxiety every time i try to swollow them, if that didn't go down, my airway would certainly be blocked, restricting my breathing and decreasing oxygen to my brain so not only will I have a cold soar, I will also have brain damage.

-There isn't a back door to the Library on campus, so I have to walk my ugly face all the way around the building to get in and then go all the way through to the study tables at the back of the freakin libraray! And of course I get ambushed with a "hey you in the dress" by some other creeper who apparantly remembers me from biology and wants to hang out with me, even though I was still taller than him and I was two steps down and I have a mountain growing out of my lip. I did not have very good luck with the other creepers from my biology class. I feel like that is a really bad idea!

-My air conditioner is stuck on feet, which means that my face gets 900 degrees in the middle of the day and i am sweating and red and my bangs are stuck to my head every time I get out of the car, but I can't walk because my feet are numb and my poor little bad circulation toes are completely frozen!

When this disease falls of my face i will balance my pessimism with an incredibly upbeat blog about how much I love summer....dont worry!

Woman of the Year 1974

Ton ta ton ta ton!

I couldn't find the actual striped sweater on the rock picture but i felt that this adequately expressed my feelings.

Happy Mothers Day to the best mom in the entire world. She is the funniest, nicest, most beautiful, kind, tiny, energetic, giving, generous, happy person ever. I can't believe someone as nice and wonderful as her actually exists. She is the best mom in the whole wide world. She does everything for her kids and grandkids and doesn't think twice about it. I am so grateful to have her!

Top 5 Reasons why Yoli is Awesome:

1. She received excellent scores in the swimming suit contest of Miss Iron County- excellent body.

2. As a member of the elite (only six members) cheer squad at Cedar High, she kissed all of the football captains.

3. She is the definition of hep to the jive.

4. She is an amazing aerobicizer -Master of the Step Touch.

5. She likes to exfolate her atne with a tawl and then use her permIT to get into the CAfe.

(capital letters used for emphasis on the wrong syllable)

The reason unendowed women aren't allowed in the temple

Oh please let it end!

finals week = worse than waking up at 5 in the morning for clinicals

I have never before had so bad of a case of summeritis. Maybe it is because I am the queen of self-diagnosis now, I'm not sure, but I honestly haven't listened to a word coming out of my teachers mouths for the last three weeks. In class, boring boring four hour long class, I sit next to the most ADHD child in all the world. Together we look at facebook and youtube snowboarding videos and google the most attractive way to wear a polo. We discuss what I should wear to various events and he tells me why he has yet to find a wife even though he listens to the prophet. When he falls asleep, i doodle all over my "notes" hearts and squiggles and flowers and stars. When that fails to entertain me I look, I look out the window, which is all the way behind me, and watch for bunnies and hikers on the mountain. Occasionally I stare at some of my other classmates until they look at me. Oh the joys of being a slacker.

At home when I need to be studying, I....

1. Watch Wildfire on netflix. I seriously can't stop myself. I love Junior so much I might die. Best teen drama soap opera ever!

2. Eat easter candy.

3. Practice my violin. Well, at least that one is productive.

4. Eat other unhealthy things.

5. Read the Reader's Digest. Because I am an eighty year old man. There was actually a very interesting article about this lady that works in a company that charges college students to write their essays for them. Like she just googles and bull craps seventy five page research papers for $2,000! What is this world coming to?

6. Paint my nails. Usually while watching Wildfire.

7. Get frozen treats (mini blizzard) with Em and her children.

8. Lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling.

9. Meander aimlessly on the internet.

10. Look at my books and pretend to be studying but singing Taylor Swift songs in my head instead of actually comprehending what I am reading.

The first picture that came up when I google imaged finals. Haha and I just couldn't resist sharing those joyful faces with the world :)

The life of a productive nursing student!

In my old age...

I am coming to the conclusion of my teenage years. Weird i know. In my head i am still approximately fifteen reliving my sophomore year of high school, when all the senior boys were this beautiful intangible mystery and somehow they all appreciated the freshness of my meat. Well although I feel like those days are long gone, I now go to school with a wonderful group of people that are married with children, and they make me feel like a tiny little idiot. So contrary to what my classmates have to say, I am full of wisdom and maturity, as evidence by....

The love of reading.

Well, not exactly a love, or desire, more like an internal need to read and read and read, and not so much for enjoyment, but so I don't fail tests. And while the need to read doesn't actually show wisdom, the knowledge that I gain turns into wisdom, and prioritization of reading my textbooks, rather than say.... do anything else, shows some serious maturity.

Modest Swimwear!

With maturity comes modesty. I am now the proud owner of two one piece swimming suits and one adorable tankini (pictured above), that is named after me. The Jessica Tankini, like it was fate that I take this step into my future by not baring my midrif. Now that is a mature decision.

Other things that classify me as old and mature..

1. I have now been in the relief society presidency for two semesters in a row. It doesn't get older or more straight arrow than relief society.

2. I actually attempted (but failed) to do my visiting teaching. When you picture a visiting teacher, you do not picture a young immature little lady.

3. I love sweet potatoes and asparagus, yes those are vegetables. That is maturity in it's finest.

4. And finally, in approximately three months and three days, I will no longer be a teen! That means that I am a for real grown up....right?

No lusting in sacrament!

The singles ward.

Infamous in the mormon community as a mating ground for the very young members of society who have yet to find their knight in shining armour to multiply and replenish the earth with. The girls put on their very best outfits and most ravishing styles to attract the good looking ones. The spiritually strong that are lacking in the looks department seek to woo their partners with vast vocabularies as they bare their testimonies every fast sunday. They are all hunting in packs. Their best friends since ninth grade flanking their entrance. Seating is strategic. Most wait until half an hour into the meeting to make their entrance and proceed to the very middle of the widest pew, because that is where the beautiful boys are sitting, and who doesn't like to push their way through a crowd of beautiful boys to sit down and feel the spirit. Oh ya, that's why we go to church, to feel the spirit! For some reason i was a little confused on that fact for a minute when I saw the mini skirted blondes stumbling in their four inch heels squealing at the boys in the middle of sacrament. I realize that my opinion might be skewed, because I don't have nineteen best friends in my ward, and i don't weight 27 pounds, and my hair isn't puffier than my brain, but seriously it is getting hard for me to ignore the freakin mating dance. Can't we just wait to lust after eachother until after sacrament meeting?

Long Hair means Sassy and Attractive

Long hair=throwing out the vibes, so of course growing mine out and trying to make myself attractive to the stupid men. So I'm just feeling all sassy and long haired which is what inspired the background and picture change, but I seriously didn't even notice that I was doing the same pose in a backless dress as the homegirl on my background so seriously don't judge me.

a whole new year

Although New Years Eve is my least favorite holiday in the world, like really I would prefer celebrating arbor day any day and I absolutely hate knowing with almost perfect certainty that the boy I've been crushing on is making out at this exact moment, I do like a fresh start and resolutions...so here we go:

1. Have so much fun with all of my hobbies (you know enjoy my dance classes and practice my violin like crazy but don't take myself too seriously, just to experience the happiness and joy i can create)

2. Follow John Mayer's advice: be friends, lovers, or nothing because the in between crap is just so not conducive to my happiness (and by lovers of course I don't actually mean lovers)

3. Gain a rockin testimony of the atonement (i'm taking the atonement, forgiveness, and repentence institute class next semester so that should be a good starting point)

4. Work my butt off at school, but realize that an A- has never killed anybody, maybe even a B if I've worked my very hardest and that's all I can do

5. Don't let grumpy people bring me down. Spread my joy to as many as I can, if they don't want it, just let it go and keep my joy

6. Take a risk (maybe not a very big one because i will go into cardiac arrest from fright, but little not too risky risks would be good for a girl like me)

7. Spend time with all of my nephews individually, get to know them, let them know me, play with them for real (on the floor without the tv on undivided attention play)

8. Dont judge a book by it's cover (because I might actually be the most shallow person ever and I am just not pretty enough to be as picky as I'm being and I don't ever actually end up liking the personality of the pretty ones)

9. Let the people I love know that I love them (because if I don't show them they will be inclined to say, how do I know he loves me, how do I know he cares--watch enchanted, you will understand my world so much better)

10. Sing loud in the shower. Pain my nails, give the polish an awesome name, and make time to let them dry. Go on dates even when I think it will be awkward with a capital A. Go to church by myself and not care about all the other stupid superficial people because that's not why I go to church. Make time for recreational reading. Smile at everyone and blue skies with fluffy clouds. Save money. Pay tithing. Buy something that makes me feel pretty every now and then.

11. Have a wonderful 2011!!!

THANKFUL!

santa!!!

dress up surprise parties

cheerleaders :)

state champs!!!!

grown up slip n slides

fantasy football draft tough girls

synchronized swimming

pee wee football speed

cheeks!!

halloween....christmas

boys ;)

Holy cow, where to begin. I love thanksgiving- I love football, and crunchy leaves, and eating until you are absolutely sick and then going to get seconds. But the true meaning of thanksgiving is to show and express gratitude for all the wonderfulness around us....so here is my ranting random grateful list for 2010:

1. Im grateful for my family. They are my people. They mean absolutely everything to me. I don't know who I would be without them.

2. Im grateful that my mom pretty much worked a full time job to pay for my dance and violin lessons, as an ungrateful brat of a child I don't think I ever recognized the sacrifices she was making for me. I do now, and I am so amazed!

3. Im grateful for six of the cutest nephews in the world. I love that they each have such distinctive personalities. I'm grateful that Mack was born on my birthday, that paxten loves to play cars with me and beat me in the homerun derby, that bo has the awesomest cheeks and lets me love on them, that cru says i love you caca in between telling me to stop singing, that cael finally remembered my name and didn't call me krisica even though that is also pretty awesomely funny, and that brooksie gives me awesome loves every time he sees me!

4. Im grateful that President Monson's smiling crinkley face is my screen saver, pure joy and a reminder that i should be doing good things.

5. Im grateful to work with the sweetest little ladies that are so nice and always give me awesome life advice and tell me not to get married.

6. Im grateful that I can dance and feel so happy and free and wonderful just from moving my body and creating something. For a long time I wasn't dancing for the right reasons and I was tearing myself down so much that I just was unhappy. I am so glad that I am fixed and can feel such joy by doing something that I've worked so hard at.

7. Im grateful that I can express my testimony through music. I'm not good and bearing my testimony in church, I think its hard and awkward to say what I mean and have it make any sense to people outside of my head. But when I can play it, I can feel and show those emotions and it just works out so much better.

8. Im grateful that i am approximately ten days away from finishing the Book of Mormon for the second time. Wow I actually understand why they always tell you to read your scriptures. It really does make you have a better day and you really can learn about the gospel and it really isn't this boring unapplicable to your life book, its a miracle! And it definitely has built my testimony so much!

9. Im grateful that I have more friends than I realize. Me and my dad always joke that I have no friends because I don't really hang out with anyone...like ever. But I really do have people in my life that I care about that would help me and be there for me. I have friends at school and I have friends from high school and I have the best family ever, Im really kind of a lucky kid.

10. Im grateful for crunchy leaves, nail polish, big fluffy bed spreads, big fluffy clouds, an awesome guessing on tests accuracy, my i pod shuffle mode knowing exactly what I want to listen to, halloween, tv shows i like, st george weather, getting into nursing school, trench coats, steve madden heels, chocolate chip cookies, slip n slides, cancer survivors, mascara, back massage tradesies, school vacations, swimming, finding a brand of jeans that fit my booty, football, the church of jesus christ of latter day saints, and (maybe my most grateful item) HOME.

Happy Halloween!....

.....or Merry Christmas whatever floats your boat! By now I figure you have all seen the majesty of our annual halloween party on all of my sisters blogs so I will just post this awesomeness of me and kristi, aka jovie the elf and girl from avatar! Love halloween, its my very favorite. I have like the next ten years of costumes picked out!

Mr. Cael

Hang in there little man! Caca loves you! You are the bravest stud ever!

And it came to pass....

After reading my scriptures last night I get down on my knees to pray. Usually I start out my prayers with "dear heavenly father," or something of that nature. You know Im a pretty predictable person. Last night I apparantly decided to mix it up, I kneel and say, "And it came to pass." Haha and it came to pass? seriously? I was going to try and recover and make it into a real prayer, but it so did not work out. Im kneeling on the ground at 11 at night giggling like an idiot to myself. I go out and tell my mom while she is washing her face and we both start laughing way too hard. For the next half hour I sat there busting a gut! I then try and kneel and pray again but can hardly breath I am laughing so hard. Lets just say my goodnight prayer last night did not move any mountains or cause any miracles. But seriously funny! Almost as funny as when my mom answered the phone and said "heavenly father?" instead of hello!

I'm IN!

(oh I couldn't resist the sweet little asian)

I made it. That oh so ambiguous grown up goal is actually in my very immediate future. It just seems so surreal. It's like graduating high school all over again. Even though I over planned and over thought everything I still never thought that the day would actually come. Am I sure I can do this? Do I want to do this? Do I want harder scarier school and clinicals with real people that I could potentially seriously injure or kill? Am I big enough for this? My awesome sister in law Kassie commented that even when I am a real RN at the ripe old age of 20 looking like a 12 year old I am going to get a lot of comments about not being old enough for patients to trust me. We decided that I will just say, fine you can deal with one of the old hags that has worked way too long and hates their job and all of you sick people and isn't up to date on all of the new information because they went to school before I was born! Well probably not. I'm hoping that people will like me cause I'm nice. It usually works out pretty well for me! Just picture it, in approximately twentyish months I will have a big kid job, freaky! For now I am just excited to find some cute, hopefully semi well fitting navy scrubs! Nursing School here I come!

I love conference, even though its eight hours of church, even though I don't get to wear my adorable new lace adorned shirt with my rockin black pencil skirt and steve madden pumps (i mean i could have but that just seems inappropriate in a lawn chair in my half painted basement), even though I'm a loser pants and the only child home for three sessions, even though we didnt think ahead and get treats, I LOVE CONFERENCE! My three favorite talks:

1. Holland(of course): When he talked about his parents sacrificing so much to pay for his mission I bawled like a little baby(not like that's anything surprising). My parents give me everything. My mom started working a full time job so that she could pay for my dance and violin lessons. And she never complained. Never said gee wiz Jess it would sure be nice to hear some appreciation since I am working nine hour days so that you can be the prima ballerina and the concert violinist. They did it cause they love me. They do everything cause they love me and they want me to be happy. Holy crap good people.

2.Uchtdorf: The "what does this haave to do with airplanes" comment was seriously hilarious. I think he is a funny, good looking, awesomely accented older man. I love the message of his talk, when things get hard and you feel busy, don't try and make yourself busier. Don't try and speed up. Go at your optimism, this is hard crap, speed and focus on the fundamentals. I really need to listen to that.

3. President Monson: Oh how I love that wise old owl! I love his gratitude talk. He is so right! I love when I have those awesomely positive days and I just love everything and I look and the blue sky and sing my favorite songs and feel so amazingly happy that nothing can take me down. I need to do that more often, even if it's rainy and cold, even if I have two tests and have to work and dont have time to go to the gym and feel good about attempting to reduce the size of my thighs. I have everything. I have a testimony of the gospel, I have the most awesome loving family on the face of the earth, I have the opportunity to learn crazy things that most people would never want to know, I get to dance once a week and feel so alive and happy, I get to practice my violin every day(well I try and practice every day) and hear the beauty of music and work on my talents, I have friends- ya real ones, who know me and love me for who I am. I AM BLESSED!

Back to School

First Day of School! My dear sister heard of this way cute tradition where the mom had all her kids write what grade they were going into and take pictures with their signs on their first day of school. Well, we decided to initiate this tradition on the first day of my sophomore year of college because Em's kids still have a while before they get into school. And we definitely had to add the "of college" for clarification because if anything i look younger now that I did when i was in high school!

My deceivingly joyful back to school face.

In the famous sing song words of Billy Madison: back to school, back to school, to prove to my daddy that i'm not a fool, i've got my shoes tied tight, my lunch packed right, i hope i don't get in a fight. But in my case it's more like back to school, because im a fool, and took summer classes which totally killed my break, and now im burnt out already and its been like five days! But that PB&J during my communications class really does make me feel better!

i owe ice cream

There is a tradition in my family. The origins are unknown to me. For some of my siblings it would have been quite easy to keep up with and only came about a couple of times. For others of my siblings it is much more frequent and possibly impossible. Well the time has come again for me to owe ice cream. This much anticipated moment was made even sweeter because it took so dang long, but the day finally came, and its time for me to pay up! So here you go, virtual ice cream via blog. If you want the real stuff you will just have to come and get me!

summer thus far

I love zumba! I drag my butt out of bed almost every morning at nine so I can go to zumba class at my gym. It is so much fun even though I look like a seriously white retard ballerina trying to do hip hop. And yes, I wear yellow stretchy pants with a jean inlay like the girl in the picture and make the awesome face the guy is making.

Me and Debora Dawn at my performance in Zion. Somehow they roped me into performing again. I am really going to have to practice saying no, especially with another Nutcracker coming up! It was actually really fun to perform outside in the beautiful canyon and Debora took me and Lachelle to a delicious dinner! As long as I get food out of it I am totally cool. And I got to dance with my teacher Amber and my old ballet teacher Angie so that was fun to be one of the big girls!

During finals week my little study group and I decided that our brains couldn't possibly take any more input so we took a break to celebrate our awesome grades! Me Becca and Allie went to a roadrunners game and it was so much fun! And yes, we might have broken out the flashcards while we were there, but I'm sure no one even noticed that we were talking about vaginas and feces!

Me and Kristi did some out of school baking. I don't actually remember this, but I'm pretty sure it happened since I have photo evidence.

Last night I broke out the 98 degrees christmas CD. PURE JOY! Haha I can't even tell you how much I love that CD and the extreme happiness it brings me. Best CD ever!

I live in the freakin Enchanted Forest! My good friend Chippie, who I named chippie because I thought he was a chipmunk but is actually a squirrel, lives at my house! Every time I come home I see his bushy little tail running away from me, and then he'll freeze like I can't see him if he is standing still. Haha I love chippie!

I know I know I haven't blogged in forever. But like I kept telling my sister when she was trying to get me to read a fun book... I don't have time for recreational reading. And I will extend that to this, I didn't have time for recreational blogging of my funnies, I'm so serious and focused on stupid summer school that nothing funny happened! But that is over now thank goodness and I got a hundred percent plus a bonus on my lab final so I think that is a success. It's time for me to step back in the blog world!

Cute Glasses and Golf over Football

I have a dilemma. A very dramatic manly dilemma. And I am just so not a drama person! I hate it and I think its stupid. So... I have been hanging out with this boy that I kind of dated in high school and even though I'm not really interested in him and I'm pretty sure he's not interested in me, I was just hanging out cause I need friends! Anyway so while hanging out with this boy, one of his best friends, that is way funnier, cuter, funnier, more personalityish, and funnier than him, started texting me and what not. And of course I'm going to be more interested in the funny, cute one over the the one that prefers golf to football and tries to serenade me with his not so sweet music. So when golf over football finds out that cute glasses boy has been talking to me he just gets his panties in a bunch and starts acting so weird! All of the sudden he is this gentleman and opens my doors and offers me shotgun and actually acts like he likes me even though he really doesn't he's just mad that cute glasses boy is interested! So pretty much I am ruining these boys's friendship and just causing so much drama, and I am so not that girl! BUT, luckily golfer is moving to Provo in the next couple days, which means that cute glasses can be done "laying off" as instructed by his friend, and hopefully take me on a real, no dirty little secret, date! A girl can dream right!!

Is reality REAL or is it something your brain creates?

I held someone's brain in my hands today. Their entire reality. All of their thoughts, memories, actions, dreams, plans, and so much more. In my hands. I can name all of the parts. Seriously quiz me, I am not kidding around with my anatomy studying! But it just blows my mind! I am sitting here blogging on my computer...my brain is facilitating my writing and comprehension and finger movements and my vision, and color recognition, and object recognition, and my background thoughts of beautiful men, and the background song in my head that never really goes away. Holy Cammoley! It is just beyond my comprehension how all of this works! We are smart, loving, able people because of this grey matter in our heads...it just freaks me right out! Maybe I should become a student of the philosophy of life cause there is some seriously deep thought going on in my brain right now. Weird. But I like it.